The World is constantly changing, technology, innovations and just changes in rules and laws are making things very different for our kids. We know in the future our little ones might face many difficulties, I always wonder what we can do to boost their confidence and help them cope.
Kids are actually stressed more than before. Why?
We always tell our children success stories, and we show them trophies but never tell them about the struggles and power of positive thoughts. They have to face challenges in the future no matter how much you protect them. Only a positive thinker child will shine and flourish.
It’s not one-day magic, you need to be consistent and patient to in-still gratitude and positivity in your child.
So here are a few tips that can help you raise your kid to be a more happy & positive child, things we are trying to do at home with Shloka.
1. Tell them it's OK to fall.
Who would want even a little scratch on kids . However we must also remember that our kids are like free birds, they will fly high and they may also fall when learning to fly. They will fall. They will get hurt. Over pampering will make you look like a perfect mom but not a real mom. You need to stand by your child but make sure you teach that the only things that matter is being able to get up again.
“ If you fall down, all you need to do is get up”
They never understand the value of struggles and hard work if you never let them fall. Every failure gives them a lesson, not to get success but be positive if they can’t make it through. We have seen our parents hit the ground we fell on - please don't do that - it is confusing your child. It is teaching them aggression, teaching them to blame another.
We have now learnt that failure and success don’t measure happiness. This is key for them to learn to be able to cope through life and it's ups and downs. Make more efforts to make your child a happier person than a successful person. Celebrate the little things more than achievements. Focus on efforts and the journey. Only a kid with a positive attitude can actually live better and make a better world. Allow them to learn from failure and make sure you are always on their side despite success or failure.
Life is not all about money, it’s about making great efforts towards your dreams. It is also about being able to cope with what lemons life throws their way.
2. Start a Positive Bedtime routine
Life will be busy as always - we are all busy with work and life. Our favourite time of the day is bedtime with Shloka. I love bedtime routines as this is the time when you can actually feed your kid’s mind with positive thoughts.
Reading positive stories, having a prayer or just a little talk about what they do all day will work. I admit that having a simple bedtime routine added so much gratitude and positivity in children’s life.
It is also a great way to learn about what they did, were they bullied, were they happy during the day. Sometimes Shloka says some very silly stuff and it's also a lot of fun to do this. Try it out...
3. Praise and give suitable rewards
When we do good at work, we need recognition. Our kids need it too. They always look for your appreciation.
Remember praise with purpose. Recognise their efforts, not achievements. If your child gets a grade A in exams, don’t exaggerate by saying that you are smart and intelligent but tell her she learns well and works hard so she gets A grade. That way even if your child gets B, she will not be disappointed and feel herself down but work hard to do better in the next test. Simple right ?
For each positive action of your kid like she shared her lunchbox or a toy with her classmate or simply they put all toys into a toy box, never forget to thank them and give a hug or some sweet words. Your kind words and a small treat on each positive attitude makes your kid more confident and positive. You are secretly strengthening your child’s value system.
When was the last time you appreciated your child?
4. Lead by Example
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in awhile. – Josh Billings
Be a role model for your kids, your child learns from you every minute. Every day we talk negatively and wish our child doesn’t consume the negative vibes inside a home - it is not possible. Make a lovely happy home so that your toddler sees the world as more kind and positive.
Parenting is a lot about leading by example. Shloka tends to observe and pick things up whether we like it or not. She also very clearly points out to us that why stop me when you did this or said this yourself.
There are many examples in the real world where children are mentally disturbed and face issues on socialisation when they have seen the aggressive arguments and frequent fights between parents. Remember, you as parents are their world for them, they perceive what you let them see. So be careful what and how you say or do things around them.
5. Use affirmations
Sometimes Shloka says - Mom, I can’t do this. I sit her down and explain that till we don't try we will never know !
To overcome the self-doubt and negative thinker attitude of your child you need to make your child write or say out affirmations. Say it out loud with them or write down in your kid’s journal or notebook and simply tell them how much you love them.
You are the best.
I am proud of you.
You will learn for sure, it takes more time to do it.
You make me feel loved and complete.
This house needs your smiles.
These are some positive words you have to say every day to your child so she or he feels loved. These in-still confidence and will help them cope better with bullies, body shaming etc that they may face in the future.
Your child is now much more confident and positive about himself that he is not letting any negative comment or criticism inside.
Also, I know it's really hard to listen to your toddler's never ending story ! But make sure you are available whenever they need to talk. Talking back, tantrums, misbehaviour is their way of communicating. Talk to them and ask them what is wrong. This is the most important habit of parents who raise confident and happy kids.
Childhood experiences are unforgettable and your kid should never feel neglected or alone. They should always know their parents and family were there for them and will continue to hear them and support them.
Always be there to listen & talk. Don’t avoid your child when he/she comes to you even for a silly thing you thought so. If you can’t talk that moment make sure you tell them, can we talk after sometime?. And ask them later on.
Simple right ? Try these and you will see the difference !